Month: August 2013

My first time: Anal sex

NOTE: This is not my attempt at writing erotica. I use too many anatomical words for it to be erotic. I just wanted to share my experience, for knowledge’s sake. UPDATE: To see my guide to anal sex, click here.

About 6 months ago, I remember saying the words “I’ll never have anal sex.” Fast forward to two months ago: My boyfriend and I are on his floor – I’m on top of him, leaning back, and his dick is in my ass.

So how did that happen? One thing that many people are worried about with anal sex is making a mess and getting fecal matter on the penis/dildo/whatever’s going into the butt. I was worried about this too, and that’s why I didn’t want to try anal. But through research and education (thanks, Internet!), I learned that this is usually not the case. Poop is usually stored in the colon, and only stored in the rectum (which comes right after the anus) temporarily, when a person needs to use the bathroom. So I learned an important lesson: Just poop and clean around the anus beforehand. You’ll probably be fine.

My boyfriend and I actually started talking about anal play (or rather just “teasing”) about two or three months before our anal sex encounter occurred. He said he wasn’t comfortable with the idea, but he’d probably warm up to it. He eventually started lightly stroking the area around my anus (such a tease!), which made me want a lot more. On the day we ended up having anal sex, we weren’t actually planning on it beforehand. We were passionately making out in his bed, and he was stroking me around the opening, so I said “I just went to the bathroom, so you can tease me a bit more, if you’d like.” So he stuck his finger in. And it felt good! It felt weird as he pulled it out though; it felt like I was pooping. This is why I’m very glad I had already used the bathroom, so I didn’t poop on his finger. I asked to see his finger, and it wasn’t messy at all! There was just a clearish film present, and that wasn’t bad at all. He asked if I wanted two fingers inside. I said yes, and after he penetrated me that way for a while, I asked if he could use the tip of his penis. “You really want me to?” he asked. “Yes I do,” I said. “We can stop if it hurts.” He put on a condom (WHICH WAS SUPER IMPORTANT so germs from the anus didn’t enter his body through the urethra) – and he probably should have put some more lube on the already-lubricated condom, but I’d forgotten my lube at my house, and we were planning on going slowly anyways.**** And then he slowly entered me… and it felt good! Not amazing, not nearly as good as vaginal sex, but it was interesting. I asked him to go in further, so he did.

Then he started thrusting, and the bed was shaking and rattling too much (and his family was downstairs), so we got on the floor instead. Unfortunately, we couldn’t find a position that was both quiet and stimulating, and his penis kept slipping out, but the experience was pleasurable for both of us (except for when he went too deep – he said that was too tight for him). The thrusting did not feel like I was about to poop, as his fingers had done earlier, so I was very happy about that. He didn’t end up ejaculating because of our problems with positioning, but it was a good experience, and we hope to try it again sometime soon.

I hope my story was enlightening and maybe answered some questions you had about anal sex! Have you done it before? What was your experience? Anything else you’d like to say? Let me know in the comments below!

****Please use lots of lube! During this encounter, he was not fully erect, so we didn’t need as much lube. If you don’t use enough lube, it will likely hurt, and you could tear the lining of the anus or rectum! This will provide a direct path for bacteria to get into your bloodstream, which would totally suck because infections are no fun!

Tantus sale!!




Tantus has a great reputation for high quality silicone sex toys, and this is THE opportunity to get one in a unique color (that’s what the whole grab bag thing is about). I got the highly rated Tantus Ryder butt plug for $9! Seriously. NINE FUCKING DOLLARS. (Actually $8.10 since I got a 10% discount code for subscribing to Tantus’s newsletter.) That’s a BIG FUCKING DEAL.


Being bisexual

Note: This post was inspired by Girly Juice’s post on her bisexuality. Go check it out!

So I’m bisexual. Seems simple enough – I’m attracted to men and women. But being bisexual can get kind of complicated sometimes.

Why? Let me tell you.

1. People don’t believe you when you say you’re bisexual.

One of the first times I came out was when I was drunk at a party. The guy actually didn’t believe me, and so he said “You’re just feeling more flirty and cuddly right now.” So I said, “No, I legitimately am bisexual. Text me tomorrow morning and I’ll say the same thing.” And he was like “Oh, okay, cool.” And then we started talking about doctors for some reason. I know this happens too when people say bisexuality is just a phase (like being “bicurious”), or just a stepping stone to coming out as a lesbian, but I haven’t come out to enough people to have any personal experience with this.

2. People assume you are attracted to them.

In contrast to the guy from above, a lot of my girl friends sometimes thought I was bisexual (this was even before I figured it out myself) because I’m super cuddly with them, so I haven’t come out to them yet, since I’m afraid they’ll assume my cuddliness means I’m attracted to them. No, it just means you’re my friend and I cuddle with my friends. Just because I am attracted to some people of your gender does not mean I’m attracted to you. Yes, I think many of my friends are pretty and I compliment them on that. That does not mean I’m attracted to them. I guess this whole issue is a problem for all queers, not just bisexuals.

3. Apparently I’m not a real bisexual because I haven’t kissed**/dated/had sex with a girl.

Just because I haven’t been with a girl doesn’t mean I’m not attracted to them. Straight people, you know you liked people of the opposite gender before you kissed/dated/had sex with one of them, right? It just so happens that my partner, who I love very much, is male. That doesn’t mean I’m not attracted to women.

4. People assume you’re a slut.

Well first of all, that’s slut shaming, and that’s bad. It’s perfectly okay to be a “slut” if you want to be. If your sex life isn’t hurting anyone else, why should they shame you for it?

Secondly, just because I have more options available for sex doesn’t mean I’m going to take all of them. Actually, I’m not going to take any of them. Unless they’re with my boyfriend, since he’s awesome.

Some studies suggest that bisexuals tend to have a higher sex drive. This does not mean they all have sex with many different people, but that bisexuals tend to be a bit hornier than everyone else.

So those are some of my thoughts about my bisexuality. Let me know what you think; are you bisexual? Do you have these same issues? Anything else you’d like to say? Leave a comment below!

**I technically have kissed a girl, but it was during Spin the Bottle, I wasn’t attracted to her, and it was just a peck, so I don’t count it.

Welcome to my blog!

Hey everyone!

I’m super excited about finally starting my blog!!

On this blog, I’ll be writing about my life (mostly the sexy parts), thoughts, sex in general, and hopefully I’ll be reviewing toys! Those are more time-consuming to do though, and as a college student, I often don’t have a lot of time, but it would be so cool to start doing that!

Right now this blog is pretty bare, but I would LOVE suggestions! To contact me, click on the “About + Contact” link at the top of the page.

Can’t wait to sexplore with all of you!